A Curmudgeon Christmas 2011

My 75th Christmas… At 7 AM Gwynne and I jumped out of bed from a long winters nap. Well we didn’t really jump, it was more like crawled out of bed. I got dressed in my cozy lounge pants..we use to call them pajamas.

I ran to the kitchen and turned on the coffee pot..OK, I didn’t run. I then settled in to my favorite recliner and turned on the TV to the Today Show. This move was extremely important because I learned the best way to return the gifts you receive and hate to the various stores and best way to cook your Christmas meal, what to wear when you go out, etc. I don’t know how I could make it through the day without the morning shows.

At 8 AM the phone rang..I said to myself “who could be calling at a time like this?” Surprise..it was my loving Daughter, Mollie. I wasn’t surprised that she called, but that she was actually up at 8 AM. Then I remembered it’s Christmas…We talked for a while and wished each other a Merry Christmas. I returned to the TV and was happy to learn that I did not miss the segment on how to cook cranberry sauce.

While I was relaxing, Gwynne let the horses out to the pasture, cleaned up the poops, fed the dogs and started our special Breakfast. Today instead of our usual oatmeal, we are having waffles. It was not special just because it was Christmas, but it was Sunday and we always have something unhealthy on Sunday. Once in a while we will go into town to the local cafe.

After breakfast and the Today show, I was exhausted from all that I had learned, I decided to watch a movie I had recorded “Pearl Harbour” made in 2001, with Ben Affleck, Josh Hartnett, Alec Baldwin, Jon Voight, Kate Beckinsale, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Dan Aykroyd, Colm Feore, Mako, Tom Sizemore, Jaime King and Jennifer Garner.. It was OK but there was far too much dialogue and smooching. I just wanted to see the action stuff. While I was doing that, Gwynne cleaned the kitchen, brought the horses in and picked up some more poops.

The doorbell rang, it was the father of one of our neighbors who wanted to borrow a pan to cook his turkey in..really. On Friday we gave him a ride to town so he could pick up a prescription. The story is that he came here to visit his daughter and when he got here she borrowed his car to go visit someone else for Christmas so he was alone and without transportation.

After the movie Gwynne trimmed my hair and beard, then I took a shower. I do that every Christmas whether I need it or not. I had a snack of graham crackers and Diet Pepsi, went in to my computer, checked my emails and played FreeCell until about 3 PM. My emails notified me that my Granddaughters, Staci and Kristina posted ” Merry Christmas” on my Facebook wall. That was nice.

Time for a nap…I settled in with my current book “RAGE” by Jonathan Kellerman. It wasn’t long before the book ended up in my face and I was asleep. While I was sleeping, Gwynne let the horses out to the pasture, cleaned up the poops, fed the dogs and baked some stuff for dinner..

I don’t remember anything exciting happening after that except that Gwynne brought the horses in and picked up some more poops. It was time for dinner. We had Carne Adovada (A tribute to 25 glorious years in New Mexico), rolls and pumpkin pie made from carrots grown in the garden this summer. The pie is quite good and you would never know it was made with carrots. After dinner we watched a couple shows and I went to bed. Gwynne stayed and read her current book “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”.

The good news Is that next week we don’t have to take down the tree or decorations, because there was no tree or decorations . We don’t need to return any gifts to the stores, because we didn’t get any and we don’t need to watch the Today Show to find out what to do with the leftovers because there are no leftovers.

Well, by now you are convinced that I am the ultimate scrooge, but please consider that we spent 22 years in our flower shop, working 10 to 18 hours a day for 15 days in a row to help others celebrate their holiday.