By Geraldine K. Purse
The body gets stiff, you get cramps in your legs
Corns on your feet as big as hen’s eggs,
Gas in your stomach, elimination is poor
Take Ex-lax at night, but then you’re not sure.
You soak in the tub or the body will smell,
It’s just like I said: OLD AGE IS HELL!
The teeth start decaying, eyesight is poor,
Hair falling out all over the floor,
Sex life is shot, it’s a thing of the past,
Don’t kid yourself, friends, even that doesn’t last.
Can’t go to parties, don’t dance anymore
Just putting it mildly, you’re a hell of a bore.
Liquor is out, can’t take a chance
The bladder is weak, might pee in your pants.
Nothing to plan for, nothing to expect
Just the mailman bringing your Security check.
Now, be sure your affairs are in order and you will is made right
Or on the way to your grave, there’ll be a hell of a fight.
So, if this year you feel fairly well,
Thank God you’re alive, although Old AGE IS HELL.